Me: "Kimball, your nose is gross. You need to go blow it before we go to school."
Kimball: "I can just wipe it on my sleeve if it runs."
Me: "No, that is gross and it's not polite or clean. You need to take care of your self by making sure you blow your nose and clean it out with tissues."
Kimball: "Well, sometimes it's hard."
Me: "Ok, fine." (I grab a tissue) "Ok, blow your nose."
(He blows his nose, and I know there is a big nasty one up in there. Doing the disgusting things that mothers sometimes have to do, I went after it with the tissue.)
Kimball: "Ouch, Mom. You're hurting my nose."
Me: "Sorry, but if you would take care of it yourself, then maybe it wouldn't hurt."
Kimball: "Mom, I can't help it. There is dirt all over."
Me: "Kimball, that doesn't mean you can't blow your nose."
Kimball: "Mom, don't see the dirt that is all over outside? When I walk around, my shoes suck it up like a vacuum. There is a machine in my body that takes it to the straw right here. (He points to his sinuses under his eyes) Then, the straw empties the boogers into my nose. I can't help it. That's just the way the machine works."
Me: (Silence. Really. What am I supposed to say to that?)
8 comments:
That is too funny!! Where were you today?
I don't care who you are....that's funny!
That is so funny!
Gross, but funny, just the same! Maybe all kids come with that vacuum. That would explain dirt and grime in the crevices and wrinkles that would normally seem out of reach!
That's funny. It's amazing to me what their little brains think of. :)
Sounds like he might be paying attention during science.... That cracks me up--- how inventive!!!!
Oh, wow, that is VERY creative! He's such a funny kid. You got to have a valentines dance, I love those...I'm working on our committee to do one next year.
Oh my goodness - he is a genius!
Would you please send these to some magazine. Kimball is the funniest boy ever. You are a wonderful Mom Kristen. You're doing a beautiful job raising them and especially loving them. Love,Aunt Wendy
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