The List

This post is titled "The List" for my most assured future reference. There isn't really anything huge or even really note-worthy (to anyone but myself) to blog about. I just really wanted to blog about some of the things that I am so very grateful for. Some simple yet incredibly amazing things that I have been contemplating over the last several days:

• The fact that my husband is alive and doing well. Six months ago the neurological surgeon confirmed what initial pathology reports had indicated. Josh had glioblastoma multi-forme. Brain cancer in its most aggressive, grade IV form. Without treatment, he would live only three to six months. Thank you Heavenly Father for blessing people with the intelligence that they needed to develop treatments to battle such a disease. Thank you for sparing my husband's life, and in turn mine.
• My sweet, impulsive, tender-hearted Kimball. He wants to please me and even though it is so very hard for him to stay focused and on-task at times, he tries very hard to do what is asked. He wants to help his brothers choose the right and he wants to make sure they are safe and happy. He is growing up so fast and is so smart and self motivated. So funny! He says the greatest things at the greatest times. This week he was worried about McKay staying home from school because he would might get a bad credit card! Ha! (report card-- in case that wasn't obvious)
• McKay can light up the room with his smile, and his contagious laugh is irresistible. He is eager to learn new things and always prays that he will be able to make the right choices. He is sensitive to the spirit and recognizes that Heavenly Father hears and answers him. He is the tease in our family and loves to spend time playing with his brothers. He always has a love and a kiss for me just when I need it. McKay is funny too. His comments are further and fewer in between, but they are just as funny and memorable. Last night at dinner he told Kimball that ketchup was good for us because it was made from a fruit called potatoes and that it had lots of allergies in it! Teehee.
• My baby boy Benson will always be my baby boy. Even though he is growing up so fast, I can still see the baby I knew needed to come to our family at the time he did. He is quick to say he is sorry when he knows he has done something wrong, and is diligent at reminding me that he loves me "too".  He seems to have a bond with Eliza that is unique and is anxiously concerned about her well-being. Once again, funny little boy. He must get it from his brothers. He can always make me smile. Like when we went to the doctor yesterday and he told me how excited he was to see Dr. Augward (Woodward) as soon as he was done working on the computer next door! Oh the randomness! 
• Eliza--my baby. She is as her name states, a fulfilled promise from God. She seems to be able to heal my aching heart by smiling at me. She smells so good and when I hold and snuggle her I don't want to put her down. (Probably the reason why she isn't quite rolling over consistently yet.) She is a good baby, and while we are still struggling with night-time, she is such a joy and I couldn't ask for a better baby. If only I could slow time down. It goes by in a blink. 
• Family. Good, loyal, loving family. The ones I depend upon so heavily and who share and help ease our burdens. The ones to "fill the chairs" (as Elder Maxwell described our life awaiting us beyond the veil). 
• The promise fulfilled that I would be surrounded by good friends who would strengthen and build me up. The following quote was posted on Facebook by one of these dear friends and applies to my husband and many others... both family and friends: "Throughout life you will meet one person who is unlike any other. You can talk to this person for hours and never get bored, you can tell them anything and they won't judge you, and you will never have to wonder if they'll be there for you. This person is your soulmate, your best friend. Don't ever let them go."-Unknown
• The chance to meet someone who really upset me but gave me the chance to reflect on what I have and realize that I never want to be the one passing such a harsh judgment on someone when I don't know the scope of their circumstance. I hope that doesn't sound pious. I really am grateful for that night when I had the chance to reflect and realize what pain simple words can cause. 
• The chance to meet two women since the first (whom I just described) who showed me charity and Christlike love when they knew nothing of me or of my circumstance. They each in their own way inspired me to be better and to try harder to reach out to others.
• Music. Healing lyrics and melodies. 
• Memories. Good and bad. The ones that have shaped and molded my life into what it is today. Whether that be for better or for worse, I am thankful for my life's experiences. 
• The gospel in its entirety. The temple, the scriptures, the living prophet, prayers, the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

I am touched if you read through the entire list. I also applaud you if you did. You must be a diligent reader. I guess I say that mostly because this post is probably boring to someone else. I just really felt the need to get it out. Maybe its because I haven't been gracious enough. I hope not. I hope that to anyone who knows our family knows that we are truly, sincerely, grateful. Maybe it's because most recently I have felt a heavy burden lighten from my shoulders. Maybe it's because I will need to reflect back on this in the weeks or the months to come when the weight may feel heavier. Whatever the reason, I am convinced it is not trivial.  The thought has been filling my mind day after day and in the most incongruous times. Little things seem greater. Life seems happier.