I miss the sunshine

So, over the weekend the rain (aside from making everything super slick) made the snow heavier and therefore better snowman material. Josh helped the boys make this snowman, and they are super proud of it...
Then, starting yesterday after church it has been snowing and snowing and snowing. I tried to take some pictures of how much snow there is, but it always seems like you can't really tell in pictures. This first one is the lilac bush in our neighbor's yard. I took one of the garbage can because of the contrast. The front left corner of the picture is my car buried in snow...
It has been cold and dreary and snowy all day long. I do have to admit that the snow is really pretty. I love to see the trees' branches covered in snow. I just miss the sunshine. To top it off, I have had another stressful and depressed day. I just wish I could figure out a way to keep it all together. How do you do it? Keep the house clean and organized; keep my kids happy, entertained and educated; succeed in personal, spiritual, family and couple goals; plan, shop, and prepare healthy and budget friendly meals, do the crapping laundry (sorry, but if you know anything about me, you know that I HATE laundry); be a good friend; be a good wife; work hard and do it right; blah blah blah. The list goes on and on. The more I think about what I should be doing, the more frustrated I get. Sorry about the random venting, I just miss the sunshine. 

Never underestimate a two-year-old

This morning I gave the boys bowls of cereal for breakfast.  I left the room and went about my business picking up and making beds. Kimball started to call for me and sounded panicked. I went in the kitchen to find that Kimball had accidently spilled his cereal and was worried about it. I started to clean it up when I realized I didn't know where Benson's bowl was. It wasn't on his tray, it wasn't on the floor, it wasn't in the sink. I asked the other two where it was and they didn't know either. I walked to the sink again and tried to remember if I had taken it from him or where it could have gone. I was seriously dumbfounded for probably a good five minutes. Finally, I looked at Benson to ask him where it was, and noticed it was on his head. Milk was dripping down his face and shredded wheat was all over in his hair. The picture does not do it justice. I can't believe that I never looked at Benson while I was looking for his bowl. Silly boy. I went to take a picture of his "hat" and he reached up to take it off, I got it just in time. 

Then, at lunch time, you think that I would have thought twice about him making a mess. I didn't. I made him his sandwich and he wanted a drink. I tried to give him a sippy, but he wanted to be big like his brothers. So I gave him a little bit in an open cup. I went in the other room to sort laundry. When I came back, this is what I found...

Again, the picture doesn't do justice, but he had wet sandwich crumbs all over himself. He had peanut butter smeared from his nose to his chin and from his cheek to his ear. Gross. He had even dropped the crusts of the sandwich in his cup. 

I don't know why he is being so messy lately. He has been really good at staying mostly clean. He is using a spoon really well and even a fork. I don't know, maybe today was just a messy day. 

Jack is back!

Ok, I am sorry, I just have to post about it. Sunday and Monday night the 4 hour premiere of "24" aired. I must say... it was a long wait. Since it didn't run last year (due to the writers strike), I have been in Jack Bauer withdrawal. Waiting two years to find out what has happened has been long. However, I was not disappointed. It was so FABULOUS. Of course, the four hours was not enough because they leave you hanging so you can barely contain yourself until the next week. I about flipped when I saw Bill and then could it get any better? Chloe! Any other 24 fans? I am getting really nerdy about it. I have totally been reading the posts on the FOX website and have seriously considered posting. What can I say? I love it. 

Love You Forever

Today was less than pleasant for the boys at church. We changed times from 9:00 last year to 1:30 this year.  It is so hard for my boys because even if they don't nap, they have a "rest" in the middle of the day. I tried to get them to rest early before church, but I think that made it worse because I had to wake up McKay, and Benson didn't even go to sleep. Kimball slept for awhile, but he doesn't necessarily need a nap, so he was fine. Poor McKay was already in a bad mood and is super sensitive about his eyes. Benson literally bumped McKay's eye with a toy car right as the opening prayer started. I managed to get him to stay relatively quiet through the prayer and then a few minutes after the prayer Benson smacked his other eye with the same stupid toy car. Poor McKay just started bawling. I quickly asked the family behind me to keep an eye on the other two and I rushed McKay out. Benson started to follow me, but I didn't know and the family two rows behind us grabbed him. I found Josh in the clerk's office and handed McKay to him and hurried back to find Benson bawling because I had left. Oh brother. So, I left again with Benson. After they were both calm we went back to sacrament meeting. I did my best to keep them occupied and listen to the bishop's talk at the same time. Kimball wanted to draw and so he grabbed the notebook and some markers and as he was turning to sit down again, he smacked McKay in the eye... AGAIN! Poor McKay. Had he been hit anywhere else he probably would have been mad but not hardly whined. Because it was his eyes, he screams and carries on. It was sad, but also embarrassing because we were up and down and out and in, over and over. The ward chorister had asked me to participate in a pop-up choir, and so when I went up to sing Benson had a cow because I walked away from him... so once again, Josh had to take Benson out and McKay followed him crying because he thought Josh was leaving.  Well, when it was time to go to primary, he didn't want to go because he is used to having sacrament meeting last. He cried and cried and I ended up taking him to the back of the room to calm him down. He told me his throat hurt, and that he wanted to lay down. I let him lay down for a while until he was ready to go to class. When primary was over, his teacher handed candy out to the children in their class and I guess he saw a big candy bar in her bag and was upset because she wouldn't give it to him. Oh the drama. Anyway, after church the boys were super hungry and even though dinner would be done in 30 minutes, I could barely convince them that they didn't NEED to have yogurt, fruit and a sandwich to "snack" on. Considering the day, you can picture how dinner went. Neither Benson or McKay would eat. After our dinner battle, I was frustrated and annoyed with the boys and I sat down on the couch for a minute. Kimball snuggled next to me and started playing with my hair. My heart melted and I asked if he was my baby. He said he didn't want to be a baby and I reminded him of the book, "Love You Forever" and he wanted me to read it to him. I ended up with all three boys in my lap while I read the sweet book about a mother who gets frustrated during the day with her son, but every night holds him and sings, "I'll love you forever, I 'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be."  I started to feel emotional while I was reading it to them because the truth is, as frustrating as days like today at church was, I can't resist holding my boys and telling them how much I love them.  I catch myself calling all three of them baby when they are sad or hurt or even when I am just tucking them in at night. I just hope that they know how much I love them and that they will always feel safe with me to share their feelings, emotions, experiences, etc. Sorry if this seems super sappy, but since this blog is my journal, I just wanted to get down how I felt holding my boys and reading to them, "Love You Forever."

Red Canyon weekend

And yet, another slide. Sorry, I just love pictures. My parents took us to Red Canyon Lodge as part of our Christmas. It was so much fun. We played games, took the boys sledding, laughed, and watched the snow fall. The boys really had fun at the "cavin" too. They have already asked when we can go back. We've been a few times now, and will probably go back several more times. Thanks to my mom and dad for a great time and perfect Christmas gift.

Committing

New Year's always brings resolutions. Goals and that we set for ourselves and then usually give up on. Well, I guess I should speak for myself, but I've never been super successful at keeping up with my New Year's resolutions. In fact, there have only been a handful years that I have been willing to commit enough to write them down. I guess a lot of it has to do with the fear of failure. I don't ever want to admit that I gave up or couldn't do something because somehow that makes incompetent or not good enough. I am not sure why I allow my psyche to interfere with the changes that I know will be better for me in the long run. However, this year... I am determined to set a few goals and be accountable for them.
1. At the risk of sounding cliche', my first goal for the year is to finally lose this weight and get in shape. Several factors have played into the fact that Benson is almost two and I have never lost all the extra weight. With the help of my doctor, a great family support system (Go Biggest Loser!), and my shiny new elliptical machine, I am determined to be successful.
2. Confession: I have a terrible habit of throwing things that I don't know what to do with into a junk drawer. I have three of them. I also have a junk cupboard. This year, I resolve to be more organized and to be sure that everything has its place.
3. Family Home Evening is always kind-of an afterthought. Monday late afternoon or early evening I start to think about what to do for FHE. My kids like FHE, but I want to make more memorable lessons and experiences that will develop FHE into a tradition for our family and not just something that we do on Monday night.
4. Another confession: I am one of those mom's who has tons of pictures and does nothing with them. I have never been a scrapper, but I actually really like designing my blog and header. So, I think that I will really like digital scrapbooking. I have been wanting to get started forever, but I just have felt so overwhelmed about the whole thing. This year, I am going to get started.
I have many more goals to set for myself and a lot to work on, but so as to not set myself up for failure, I will take it one step at a time. Maybe these seem trivial and small, but they are actually really important to me and I hope to feel better about myself by making these changes. Share your resolutions...