The reason I wanted to post today was because it is McKay's birthday. That little man is already four years old. I can't believe that it was four years ago that I met my second little baby boy for the first time.
I think back about my pregnancy and delivery and so many emotions come flooding back. My pregnancy with McKay was hard emotionally because it seemed like all along the way the doctor and I both had worries. I think I had an ultrasound at almost every appointment, and I was sick a lot. I ended up having several NST's with him throughout the pregnancy. I also had all kinds of nightmares about him. I dreamed that his heart was only half developed, that he didn't have a lung, that his blood was toxic to his little body... the list goes on and on.When I saw my little baby for the first time I was so overwhelmed that I couldn't stop crying. Josh saw something more than I did. He was emotional for a completely different reason. Long story short, it's no secret that McKay has an ulnar club arm. The weeks following his birth were hard. I couldn't get past the worry that I had done something wrong in my pregnancy. After several blessings, prayers and holding my new baby, I was given the distinct answer that I admit I have to go back to time and again. McKay was chosen to come to our family. He was meant to come a little different than most. It wouldn't have mattered if I had been perfect in my pregnancy. He would have come the way he did.
Four years and two surgeries later, he acts like it makes no difference. He rarely talks about it. In fact he only mentions it if someone else brings it up. Recently, a little girl asked him why his hand only had two fingers and he said it was so he could pinch them together. More often than giving funny little answers like that, he will say simply that Jesus gave it to him. There have been several times I have thought about that, and wondered: How often do I look at the challenges and frustrations in my life and with that same faith say, "Jesus gave it to me."
I can't tell you how much McKay means to me. Of course, all mothers understand how precious each child is. You can't express in words the kind of love that you have for your children. But, he really is an example to me. He is a funny little boy, full of energy and life. He is affectionate and ambitious. He is confident and curious. He has the kind of personality that will lead him to success. He is not afraid of trying new things. He has a laugh that is so contagious, I dare you to not smile when you hear it. I don't mean to go on and on forever, I just wanted to express some of the feelings I have been reflecting upon and having today. I am so grateful for my sweet McKay and that I am blessed to be his mother.
