Puffy, Pale, Paranoid

I promise that I am not trying to post only about Benson, but good grief, he can't catch a break. I tickled his toes to get him to smile for me, and I don't know if you can tell, but his poor little eyes are all swollen. He is pale and has had a fever for the last several days. I took him to the doctor yesterday and they drew blood to see if we can figure out what is wrong. He is getting strong antibiotics through his PICC line and shouldn't be getting sick... again! The good news is that his ears look better. The bad news is... we have no idea why he has had such a high fever. Hopefully the blood tests will shed some light. As a paranoid mom, I keep thinking about worse-case-scenerio, but I have to keep telling myself that I am just that: paranoid.

Benson is a year old!

Saturday was Benson's birthday. I have to admit, it's a fun time to have a baby's first birthday, but I was feeling rather emotional. It seems like with each one of my boys, the first year flies by faster. How does that happen? My mom, sister and I watched the video of the day he was born and the following days in the hospital and at home. All those feelings came rushing back. When I first got to hold Benson Mac and look in his sweet face, I felt an immediate connection. It was like we knew eachother. I know that might sound cliche', but it is sincere. I felt overwhelmed with love with Kimball and McKay as well, but something about Benson was a little different. Forgive me for being so personal, but I can't help it... even today I am all emotional about it.

Because Josh was going to be out of town, we had is party on Monday before he left. Then, we had to have a get-together on his real birthday, of course! The cake I made is supposed to look like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups because Benson LOVES them. It was so fun to watch him go after the cake. He didn't waste time trying to use his hands, he just went face first. It was hilarious! Happy Birthday Benson! We love you!

"PICC"ing on Benson

For any of you who remember a previous post, Benson has had chronic ear infections. On January 10, we had tubes placed in his ears to help. The infections persisted. I got over my chiropractophobia and took him to the chiropractor. The infections persisted. The Ear, Nose and Throat specialist determined he had severe mastoiditis. (Mastoids are the bones right behind your ears) Since oral antibiotics haven't helped, we had to take the next step. On Friday, my dad and I took Benson to Primary Children's to have a PICC line put in. (A PICC line is a more permanent IV. It is about 22 inches long, starts in his arm, follows a main artery up past his shoulder and across his chest to the top of his heart.) Yes, I was super paranoid. Yes, I was stressed because Josh couldn't be there (since he was in CANCUN!) Yes, I was SUPER grateful to my dad for going with me. (Not sure if I've ever mentioned it, but my dad is FABULOUS! He is the BEST!) After EIGHT attempts, (yes I said 8 attempts) in both his hands and feet, the IV team finally got the IV in place to sedate him. It was so sad. He was just shaking. Poor baby. Fortunately, the PICC line went in alot more smoothly. We've had home health care come to help me give him his antibiotics and we'll see how his is doing after two weeks of treatment. Believe me, I could write so much more about this... but I'll keep it semi-short and post a slide show. By the way, per my previous post about Benson's ears, has anyone found that instruction manual???

Tagged!

Sha tagged me, and since I have been neglecting my blog for two weeks... I thought I better start catching up:
4 jobs I've had: Other than the 24/7 title of mom, my most recent jobs have been: Financial Manager for Soveriegnty Investments (my newest adventure), Maurices (fun), power tumbling instructor (probably my true passion. I totally miss it!), public affairs with USDA (Uinta and Ashley forests)
4 places I've lived: Vernal, Rexburg, Provo, Springville (yes, Provo and Springville are two different cities)
4 places I've been: I am not much of a traveler, so how about if I list the four places I have been most recently? The couch, the chair, my bed, the floor. (I've been sick)
4 people I'd like to get to know better: Sha (right back at ya, girl!), Chandra (can you tell I'm missing you?), Kristin B (in our ward), the Spirit.
4 reasons I love being me: I have the best family (immediate and extended) in the world, I have had the blessing of making true, lifelong friends, I have the blessing of knowing, (really knowing) Josh and I are meant to spend forever together, three little boys call me mommy.
4 favorite foods: Chicken (fixed any way), prime rib, fresh fruit, BROWNIES
4 classes I wish were offered to me: interior design, parenting for dummies, massage/reflexology therapy, culinary arts.
4 friends I'll tag: Tiffany, Whitney, Candy, Hope.

Talk to me Goose!

I feel the need...the need for speed! My boys love jets. They absolutely LOVE to watch the first part of the movie Top Gun (you know the part when the Danger Zone song is playing) Kimball wanted to be Maverick for Halloween a year ago and Grammy found the GREATEST Top Gun outfit ever. They pull it out at least once a week and McKay has been asking for it almost daily. I knew I had this picture to post and so I went looking for the theme song to go along with the post. McKay heard the song from the other room and came running in, "That one is Top Gun, Mom. Don't turn it off, okay? It's my favorite." SO CUTE! They even pull out two of the kitchen chairs and line them up and then take turns being Maverick and Goose. it is so much fun to listen to kids playing. I think we will try to go to an airshow this summer at Hill Airforce Base. There will be lots of "top guns" there. We might have to find another Top Gun outfit before that.

And we break for a commercial (ok, I am embarrassed)

Okay, I have a couple of things that some people have asked me to order for Pampered Chef. It is so much easier if I can submit several orders to make it a party instead of a couple of single orders. Does anybody want anything from Pampered Chef? Stones are on special this month, by the way. I will even give the free stuff from the party to whoever orders the most. Any takers?

What am I doing?

I am sure (well, at least I hope I am not alone) that every mother can relate to the overwhelming responsibility of parenthood. I have asked myself so many times, "What am I doing?" I have these three precious boys to take care of, and I just wish that they came with their own customized instruction manuals. Case in point: "Benson Mac User Manual" For Illness, see page 13... PAGE 13: Malfunction due to illness: In case of extreme and frequent ear infections, take child to outpatient surgery for ear implants-OR-take child to chiropractor 3-4 times until problem resolves. THEN, if ear infections persist after proper placement of tubes, wait patiently for another antibiotic to run its course-OR-quickly make arrangements to take the child to another qualified specialist to seek further instruction-OR-consult chiropractor. WHAT DO I DO? The poor baby just got tubes last THURSDAY and on SATURDAY night had a fever of 101. Sunday night, controlled it with Motrin. Monday night 104!!! I feel so bad for him. I wish I could do more to make him feel better. I really want to try the chiropractor, but I am honestly scared. I don't dare go to the chiropractor myself, I am scared to take my baby. I need someone to just help me get past that fear. It is so sad when he is in so much pain and he just snuggles his little head on my shoulder. Poor baby. Despite being super sick, he can still give me a good smile when he sees the camera.